Just a testing...

If you don't like insects...don't look...

 

Ok...here is the close-up test...

 

 

I will use a tripod and more light next time.

Hope you like it...

 

Headache...for 48 hours.....

 

The headache have last for 24 hours...

I couldn't sleep...and...don't know about tonight.

 

I finallly brought the len and found my filters...

I am back to the field again!

Haha...will have new picture soon...

I can finally apply my ideas!!!

 

 

Business dinner No. 2.

A small step...a small improvement.

Hopefully, things will be better.

 

 

 

How did you deal with it in these three years?

The places, the items, the foods and the words...

So many things trigger you about the past.

It doesn't hurt that much now...but it is still there...

It became part of you...

It is still affecting your life.

Wish you will have the strength to move forward and break it through.

You will not be "lazy" about it anymore...

You will have faith again.

You will love again.

 

Where is the turning point?

By forgetting, forgiving, accepting, convincing or something else?

Little by little...walk away or walk through the pit.

 

 

Today, I have seen the rainbow in the sky up high...

It is so beautiful...the sunset is nice, too...

It is good enough.

Hallelujah.

 

I spent some time talking to myself again.



When did I start to call myself "stupid"?



Why did I say that?


It is not "stupid".



It should be a good thing.



It should be obvious.



I should think in a total different method/way/point of view.



Let me learn from the beginning again.







I am going to see doc next week...haha...may be movie after?

I think that's more I can do for my family...

 

I finally went to watch movie by myself again, yeah!!!

It was my first time to go 188 th street theater after I moved around here!

Comment about "Evan Almight"...relax...a few good quotes.

Yea, that's how we receive the gifts...by learning.

Haha...but, very frustrated during the process...

 

其實從小也覺得自己不「可愛」。



從不願討好人的我，也厭煩那些虛浮的讚賞。



長大了也許更不「可愛」。



明知道要如何卻過不了自己，總是在改變和老路之間徘徊。



這也有一點造就了「濕柴」般的感情模式。





從最初的熗眼難燃；



到熾烈的狂焰；



直至把自己燒成了飛灰，但底下的餘温卻歴久不散。







我的眼嗎？



左眼視力一再減退、疲勞、疼痛。



用新眼鏡後好了一段時間，但最近又嚴重了起來。

是時候找出原因了。

突然想起自己不夠愛惜自己，



這樣子可以好好的愛人嗎？



總是這樣無所謂。





我想妳的心意我己領會，多謝。



妳做的不錯，其他是這人的事。

 

It was too late to step outside...

I missed the rain while I was having dinner.

When I went out, the rain was almost gone.

I wanted to take a walk in the rain.

 

My eye...I think I will see the doc before it go blind.

 

Hurt.

Don't hurt.

Keep trying.

Stay away.

Who knows.

Can't assume.

 

If you are lost and loneliness has found you.

The world doesn't understand.

The close one even brings more heartaches.

Don't give up.

There's still people you can trust.

There's still people need your help.

There's still love.

Pathetic is human...so limited...so imperfect...that cause pain.

But, pain can be good...

People can also change the world around them...by little or extraordinary deeds.

 

Grandma broke her hip in pieces...cancer...no treatment can be done.



I told my mom it is okay to go back.



I can take care the business and family here.



My sister is going to apply for her green card soon.



So, don't worry.





My concern is my grandma's religion...





I hadn't known how to react when a relative was in trouble, since I was a kid.



Since, I have never lived with them...not even seen them..."relatives" is more a concept to me.



My parents said my grandparents love me very much.



I usually reply, "Mm."



They suppose to be my closest people...my fresh and blood.



But, I found it hard for me to relate.



My grandpa used to live in Hong Kong...so, I remember him clearly, though.



I was very upset when he was leaving.





This time, I don't know about myself, but I don't want my mom has any regret.