My eye is hurt again.

Need to rest.

Not going to church tomorrow.

Make me so tired.

Tears and running nose because of the pain...and I was still working.

Gosh! I still think of her in this moment.

Don't think, because it's not her need. (neither do I)

Here we go.

This is the third week.

I will not have any day off till med-May.

Received a call from a friend.

When we talked about relationship, she mentioned I spent so much time with my mom and how my mom needed me all the time.

I am so different now.

Ten years can really change a person...and the world around.

Actually, I have a good relationship with my mom before she went to HK.

It is just different.

Such a fool, I am.

Focus.

I think...may be I should just leave.

Give a little bit more of time and effort...

If the same...then...

It is better than leaving in hopelessness.

Why?

Morning is such a pain.

It is not because I have to wake up and go to work everyday.

It is the dreams...and lead to day-dreamings...double up the pain.

It takes me at least an hour of work to settle me down.

It actually reflects the truth...that I am bearing so much of emotions which I suppress.

I realized the reason I hadn't experienced God's presence...

I hadn't follow Him step by step and empty myself to be used.

His Grace is usually showed upon difficulties...especially, during serving.

He can change me, if I completely surrender to Him.

Very tired...may be too many thoughts.

I realized I was bothered in late afternoon.

I am just...emotionless...tired...headache...

Last night, I had to hold my chin, closed my eyes and rest at the 2nd row.



It was not because I was tired. (I did need to rest, though)



I surprised myself once again.



I teased myself once again.



So, stupid.



However, my heart was not troubled...it is kinda complicated.



It helped me to diagnose and understand my heart.





The pictures...as I said, "I tried."



Thanks for brothers and sisters.



Praise to the Lord!